Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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