I wish I only lived at night.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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