you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
