yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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