Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
