when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
