i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
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