your thong is hanging out like whoa
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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