im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You're a waste of cheezeits
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
