I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
