Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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