She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
