Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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