i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
