You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
