I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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