Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
this just has baby written all over it
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
