My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
do herpes really smell.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
