Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
When are your genitals available?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
