How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Can i not drive my cunt home
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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