ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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