literally had 100 drinks last night.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Randomize
