capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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