the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
high people should be assigned attendants
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize