I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize