So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
People with herpes should wear stickers.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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