kristin has been a bad kristin
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
