i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
