Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Fuck appropriateness.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
