i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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