Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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