but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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