You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
