her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
