To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
