the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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