i think my tv is drunk
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
They are going to name an STD after you.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
