brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just want nice things and good sex
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
