Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
