Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
My pussy is not your playground.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
