Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
