operation have a gay friend backfired
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
