Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
