I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize