so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
