So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
