Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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