I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I just found puke in my bra..
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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