Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
