Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
