Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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