You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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