so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
