Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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