Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
