God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
