he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She bit a glass in half.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
