you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
