If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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